Happiness is a Warm Gun?

There are puddles in the streets, but it hasn't rained in a couple of days.  People walk around with guns, but nobody bats an eye.  Strangers rub your face, but you don't defend yourself.

สุขสันต์วันสงกรานต์


Suksanwan Songkran, or happy Songkran!

The Thai new year is celebrated for three days in April, from the 13th-15th.  Today my friend Jacob took me to Silom Road so I could experience what is now my favorite holiday.  It is a giant water fight that takes place across the country.

Bangkok has a population of around seven million people.  I would say about five million of them were playing with water today.  Everyone grabs their water guns (the prospect of which causes Jacob and I to reminisce about our Super Soakers of yore and how foolish we were for not taking better care of them/bringing them to Thailand) and heads out to face the crowds of people.

Jacob had a water gun emblazoned with the image of Doraemon (sometimes called "Gadget Cat from the Future") and I picked up a backpack/gun ensemble with MA-O RANGER displayed proudly on the back (strangely redolent of a flamethrower).  His gun had good accuracy, but mine was a bit more powerful.  However, I soon found that the backpack did not carry the volume of water I had hoped, leaving me largely defenseless against the hordes of Thai people.

The free water, which my friend and I were keen to use, was lukewarm, rare and seldom very clean. Many people sold cold bottled water along the way, with prices ranging from 5 to 20 baht.  Although expensive, this water definitely had more of an impact on one's victim, as the water was pulled from a bucket of ice.

Jacob told me before we ventured out that it was incredibly satisfying to shoot someone in the face.  At first I found the idea a bit cruel.  After experiencing it, however, I can tell you that there are few actions more satisfying in this world.  And the crazy part about it is how everyone is a good sport.  It is a water fight in the truest and most innocent way.  It is strictly fun.

As far as I can tell, Silom Road doesn't actually go anywhere.  In less chaotic times, I'm sure it serves a purpose, but for these three magical days, Silom is a 700 yard (roughly) walk of wet madness.  Some patches of the street move at a comfortable pace, but other sections slow to a standstill.  The weapons of choice seem to be these:

Water gun:  The power of these seems to range from squirt to light caliber firearm, depending on both the quality of the gun and the temperature of the liquid inside.  The aim of course also plays a role.  Kind people shoot at chest height.  Jacob and I found it more effective to aim for the twinkling part of the eyeballs, as it tends to make the other person halt their assault of you.  Some guns are pump-to-shoot, like mine, while others are pump-to-pressurize, like Jacobs.  And of course there are the small water pistols that were too cheap and feel like a moist fly is kicking you.

Bucket/bottle:  The small, bowl-like buckets and water bottles of the people selling food, powder and water on the sides of the street have a decent volume of water and are usually filled with the coldest liquid.  They are to be avoided if possible.  However, in times of trouble a quick burst of water to the eyes of the attacker should give you enough time to make your escape.

Bowl of talcum powder:  Surprising amounts of people enter the field as conscientious objectors, carrying only a bowl filled with talcum powder.  These people dip their hands into the bowls and wipe the thick paste onto your cheek, neck or shoulders as they walk past.  Sometimes the wipers are boys, sometimes they are pretty girls (!) and sometimes they are boys who are in some kind of transitional phase of becoming girls (also "!" but not in a good surprise way).  Everyone accepts the paste graciously, but it is nevertheless wildly satisfying to shoot them in their eyeballs.

Hoses:  Evidently there were no fires today in Bangkok, because the fire department decided to show up and spray the crowds with their fire hoses.  This is pretty fun, but I'm taller than most of the Thai people and was thus hit in the face with more water than the average person.  They were harder to shoot in the eyes because of the size of their artillery.  Which of course made it that much more gratifying to succeed.

Through this experience, I've discovered that I want to celebrate this holiday every year.  It's a true party and everyone has a great time, from the toddlers I saw (and subsequently shot) to the elderly (whom I shot fewer times, but still enough to cross it off the ol' bucket list).

My friend Jacob and me after a few hours of Songkran festivities.